Why Embracing Vulnerability Makes Us Stronger Parents

Parenting can be a tough journey filled with challenges and triumphs. When Seth and I began our parenting journey with Jack, I never imagined how much healing and strength could arise from embracing vulnerability. Brene Brown, in her book Daring Greatly, teaches us that vulnerability is not a weakness but a powerful source of strength.

In this season, I am currently re-reading Daring Greatly to help transform my approach to parenting. In this post, I will share my journey of embracing vulnerability and provide practical tips for you to do the same.

Understanding Vulnerability while Parenting

Brene Brown defines vulnerability as "uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure." In co-parenting, this translates to being willing to communicate openly, admit mistakes, and share feelings, even when it feels uncomfortable. I have experienced firsthand how challenging it can be to lay bare my emotions, especially when I am depleted of resources. However, I have learned that showing vulnerability and admitting when I am not performing at my best, builds trust and strengthens our family bond more than I could ever imagine.

By opening up about my feelings, I’ve created a safe space for my family to safely express their emotions too. It’s crucial for kids to see their parents handle tough conversations. This teaches them that it is perfectly okay and human to be open about feelings and that nobody is flawless.

Why Vulnerability is Important for Kids

When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we show others that everyone faces challenges. Kids especially learn that feeling sad, confused, or scared is a normal part of life. Research indicates that children raised in environments that accept vulnerability are approximately 60% more likely to develop resilience and 70% more likely to have strong emotional intelligence compared to those who do not experience supportive emotional environments.

Children who understand the importance of sharing their struggles are better equipped to face their own difficulties. They see vulnerability as a bridge to human connection. This mindset fosters open dialogue between my husband and me, creating a nurturing environment for those around us.

Tips for Maintaining Vulnerability While Parenting

• Practice Open Communication

Consistently communicating is key in co-parenting. Make it a habit to discuss feelings, expectations, and challenges candidly. I've found that regular check-ins create a comfortable atmosphere that encourages vulnerability.

• Admit Mistakes

Parenthood is filled with errors. Let's face it, we weren't given a parenting manual when we took our kids home from the hospital. Acknowledge your missteps openly. When I make a mistake, I admit it to my family. I apologize and move on. This shows them that errors are part of learning and empowers them to own up to their own faults. It also helps them not continue to dwell on their past mistakes. Mistakes are part of our human genome.

• Share Your Feelings

I strive to share both my positive and negative feelings. If I’m feeling down, I might say, “I feel sad today, but that’s okay to feel sad. If you'd like, we can talk about it.” This encourages my kids to share their feelings too.

• Encourage Emotional Expression

Promote open emotional expression. When children see you displaying vulnerability, they will likely feel comfortable doing the same. This deepens your bond with them and helps them connect to their own emotions.

• Create Family Traditions

Engaging in family traditions can enhance vulnerability. Our dinner time is sacred. It's time for us to sit around the table, technology free, break bread with one another, and share our daily experiences. Everyone gets a chance to speak, fostering trust and openness.

• Be Mindful of Language

The language we use matters. Avoid terms like “weakness” when discussing feelings. Emphasize that sharing emotions is an act of bravery and strength.

The Strength of Community

A key insight I’ve gained is that vulnerability extends beyond interactions with our family. It is also about relying on our community. A robust support network of friends, family, and fellow co-parents provides a solid foundation built on shared values.

Parenting can feel isolating, but connecting with other parents who embrace vulnerability creates a healthy space to share experiences. This can lead to valuable exchanges of advice and collective celebrations of successes, making the journey smoother.

Embracing Vulnerability Moving Forward

Embracing vulnerability in my relationships has strengthened me as a parent. By being transparent, I am setting an example to my family that vulnerability carries great value.

If we want our children to become resilient, empathetic, and emotionally intelligent adults, we must first acknowledge our own vulnerabilities. While the process can feel daunting, vulnerability invites deeper connections and understanding in all aspects of life. Let’s take this leap together and show our children that vulnerability is indeed a strength.

Love,

Ashley P